


the godaime gets pegged

by theformerone



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Humor, POV Outsider, Sex Toys, pegging mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22747681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theformerone/pseuds/theformerone
Summary: What it says on the tin.
Relationships: Gaara/Haruno Sakura
Comments: 19
Kudos: 281





	the godaime gets pegged

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aelibia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelibia/gifts).



Ranka has seen it all, okay. Working in Customs and Border Control means that she gets to see shinobi at their weirdest -- in their suitcases. 

She's seen freaky sex knives, all kinds of ointments, exotic plants and animals, bricks of drugs, the whole gambit. Not much phases her anymore. When she first started here as a proud career chuunin, she had been a little easier to surprise. She hadn't been sheltered. No shinobi could afford to see. She just hadn't seen shinobi as intimately as this job required before. 

The Godaime's girlfriend is different. 

Ranka's usually happy when doctors cross the border. She gets to peek into their bags and take swabs to make sure nothing inside is dangerous enough to destroy the nation, plus the doctors usually are good natured enough to crack a joke or two about the contents of their kits. 

When Haruno Sakura had first come to Suna for the Chuunin Exams, her bags had been full of all kinds of common antidotes. Ranka had wanted to filch as many as possible, but she had been very much aware that stealing from Senju Tsunade's apprentice would get her fingers broken and her job posting revoked. 

Haruno always had all sorts of cool shit hiding in her pack. She didn't come through often, but when she did, she was one of the more fun Konoha shinobi. They usually tended to have cool shit in their stuff. Kiri shinobi had the best shit, and Konoha shinobi were so widely varied that no two of them packed alike. 

The one in the green jumpsuit didn't seem to bring anything with him other than matching jumpsuits and protein powder. The Hyūga heiress and her brown haired cousin only rivaled each other when it came to traveling with hair care products. The guy who came with his dog partner seemed to have one brush that he used for both himself, and his partner. The brown haired one that was dating Temari seemed to only travel with bags full of storage scrolls, buffalo jerky, and a canteen. 

For a while, Ranka had thought that Haruno's bag was as normal as the other ones. Until she had started visiting more regularly to learn medicine by reverse-engineering Chiyo-sama's massive collection of poisonous concoctions. The Suna elder had all but adopted Tsunade's apprentice after the two of them had managed to bring the Kazekage back from the brink of death after the One-tail had been extracted from him. 

During her time under Chiyo, Haruno's bag was generally full of changes of clothes and the various notebooks she brought with her for her lessons. 

Once her time as Chiyo's disciple had ended, however, the contents of Haruno's bag had ... _changed_ significantly. 

Ranka flat-out ignores it now. Waves Haruno through like usual. She smiles at the other shinobi, but Haruno frowns.

"You aren't going to check my bag?" 

Ranka blinks. 

"Nah," she replies, clipboard in hand as she goes through Sakura's paperwork. She doesn't ask if she's there for business for pleasure, because Ranka had already gotten a peak, and she already knows the answer to that question. 

"Why not? That's a security risk."

"Not too big of one," Ranka replies, offering a half smile and praying the other woman will just drop it. 

"I could be carrying bombs," she presses, directly contradicting Ranka's hopes and dreams. "I could be a carefully made genjutsu, an assassin sent to kill the Kazekage."

"Are you normally this gung-ho about the national security of a different country?" 

"No," Haruno replies, "but when the leader of that different country is my partner, I have a right to be concerned."

Haruno Sakura wasn't the kind of woman you wanted to fuck with, on a good day or on a bad one. She was about a hundred sixty pounds of hard packed muscle, and managed to make the Kazekage look like a waif when he was standing next to her. She had thighs thick as the Fire Country oaks she had probably climbed back in her youth. 

She's an imposing woman with a forehead tattoo, and that was before you even got to the fact that she was the Godaime Hokage's disciple, and heir to her legacy of terror. Her battle partners were the last Uchiha and the Kyuubi jinchuuriki. Her marriage to the Kazekage was only a recent addition to the list of things that made this woman one of the most dangerous people currently living. 

"Are you not checking my bag because of my relationship with the Kazekage? Because really, it's all the more reason why you should be extra discriminatory with myself, or any of his other good friends from foreign countries. It's always safest to screen the favorites more thoroughly. They're more likely to be plants."

"Haruno-san," Ranka interjects, "while I do appreciate the lesson on border security and espionage, there is a very specific reason why your bag gets special treatment."

Haruno Sakura, not one to ever shy away from being told the truth, narrows her eyes and waits for the answer. 

Ranka opens her mouth and shuts it again. She lowers her voice, because she is definitely overstepping a boundary, and with an important foreign and domestic figure. But she also doesn't nearly get paid enough for this shit, and she doesn't have dental insurance, so _fuck it._

"The Godaime gets pegged," she says flatly, "and everyone in my department knows it, because we are the ones who have to see the sheer number and variety of _toys_ you specifically bring over the border and into the village with the express purpose of using them on the single man that _I report directly to_."

Haruno's face turns a polite shade of pink, and Ranka is grateful that she's at least a little embarrassed. 

"I am not opening a bag full of sex toys that will be inside my commanding officer at some point and then looking said commanding officer fully in the face for my weekly reports and watching his stoic face as I describe the manner of _spheres_ and _cylinders_ and _ointments_ I found on your person. Can we let this slide for my sanity and for your continued healthy sex life?" 

Haruno purses her lips, then she nods once, stiffly. Ranka is able to get her through the entrance paperwork in record time. 

And what's better -- nothing pink, purple, green or glittering starts vibrating in Haruno's bag this time around. It's nearly a good day on the job. 


End file.
